Scott
Senior Member
- Joined
- Jun 8, 2008
- Messages
- 1,171
- Reaction score
- 62
> **When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her
> someplace expensive....***so, I took her to a gas station.....**and then
>
> the fight started....*
>
> ********************************************************* *
> **I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for
> $10.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her
> the **beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
> **And that's when the fight started.*
>
> ************************************************************************
> **
>
> *After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
> Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
> license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had
> left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I
> would have to go home and come back later.
> ***
> *The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
> *
> *So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That
> silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my
> Social Security application.
> *
> *When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
> Social Security office.
> *
> *She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
> disability, too'
> *
> *And then the fight started.....*
>
> ************************************************************************
> *
>
> *My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
> kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
> nearby table.
> *
> *My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
> *
> *'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
> drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
> hasn't been sober since.'
> *
> *'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on
> celebrating that long?'
> *
> *And then the fight started.....** *
>
> **********************************************************************
> **
> ***Rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
> and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
> *
> *You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things
> just seem funny?
> *
> *Yeah, well I couldn't believe it....he was a DWARF!!!
> *
> *He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
> HAPPY!!!'
> *
> *So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
> *
> *And that's how the fight started.....*
>
> ************************************************************************
> **
> *I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
> order first.
> *
> *'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
> *
> *He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
> *
> *'Nah, she can order for herself.' *
> **
> ***And that's how the fight started.....
>
> ************************************************************************
> ***
>
> The wife said ' I want something for my birthday that will go from zero
> to 200 in under 4
>
> seconds.' Her husband gave her a bathroom scale.
>
> And that's how the fight started.......
>
> someplace expensive....***so, I took her to a gas station.....**and then
>
> the fight started....*
>
> ********************************************************* *
> **I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for
> $10.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her
> the **beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
> **And that's when the fight started.*
>
> ************************************************************************
> **
>
> *After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
> Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
> license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had
> left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I
> would have to go home and come back later.
> ***
> *The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
> *
> *So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That
> silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my
> Social Security application.
> *
> *When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
> Social Security office.
> *
> *She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
> disability, too'
> *
> *And then the fight started.....*
>
> ************************************************************************
> *
>
> *My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
> kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
> nearby table.
> *
> *My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
> *
> *'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
> drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
> hasn't been sober since.'
> *
> *'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on
> celebrating that long?'
> *
> *And then the fight started.....** *
>
> **********************************************************************
> **
> ***Rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
> and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
> *
> *You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things
> just seem funny?
> *
> *Yeah, well I couldn't believe it....he was a DWARF!!!
> *
> *He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
> HAPPY!!!'
> *
> *So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'
> *
> *And that's how the fight started.....*
>
> ************************************************************************
> **
> *I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
> order first.
> *
> *'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
> *
> *He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
> *
> *'Nah, she can order for herself.' *
> **
> ***And that's how the fight started.....
>
> ************************************************************************
> ***
>
> The wife said ' I want something for my birthday that will go from zero
> to 200 in under 4
>
> seconds.' Her husband gave her a bathroom scale.
>
> And that's how the fight started.......
>
