Most useless equipment thread

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skyfire322

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We all have those two or three pieces of equipment that we can't live without like a floor corker or AIO. So I thought starting a thread about the most useless or gimmicky equipment might be fun.

For me, it's probably this thermometer I bought at the LHBS or the mini hand corker that came with my starter kit.

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Mine is the stupid bottling wand and the sanitizer that sits on top of the bottle tree, broke that thing in a week

That’s hilarious!! I’ve used my bottling wand and treetop sanitizer on every single bottle I’ve ever done!! You know the old saying, “One man’s trash.......”

I bought a vinometer before I read about them, never been out of the box.
 
That’s hilarious!! I’ve used my bottling wand and treetop sanitizer on every single bottle I’ve ever done!! You know the old saying, “One man’s trash.......”

I bought a vinometer before I read about them, never been out of the box.
Oh I forgot about those useless things. Yea you win.
 
Vinometer- yep. Bought one of them too. dust collector

Bottling wand— another dust collector for me

But the bottle wash bowl thing is a go-to every time. Never had an issue with it personally

My plate filter was a big waste of money tho. Really only ideally works with transfer pumps- which the shop owner failed to mention. Struggled my way through one batch— and hasn’t been touched since.
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I bought this thing called, I think, a hydrometer or something like that. Totally useless. It was supposed to tell you how much alcohol was in the wine, but the stupid thing kept going DOWN, it kept telling me that there was less and less alcoholic potential, or something. I broke several before I gave up on them entirely. Now, I just ask WMT how many days I should ferment, and how many bubbles in my airlock is good.

(4/1/2019)
 
I have not bought much that I thought was poorly thought out, but there are a few things I have not really needed. In a way, we should talk about the things that are surprisingly good. But here is a list of things I don't need again.

1-Cheap 3/8 vinyl tubing. The expensive thick wall stuff is good, but the thin wall stuff is worthless. I've kind of switched to 1/2 tubing for most things anyway, and the reinforced 1/2 tubing is great for vacuum transfer.

2-Gray Brute primaries. Trust me here, you will be happier with the white ones. Yes, they are a bit more expensive. And the lids are sold as a separate item, but they are better. Mostly because it's easier to see when they are not perfectly scrubbed out. With the white ones, it's easy. Buy on Amazon, I'm partial to the square ones but I'm not sure why.

3-Plastic carboys. Enough said. If you need carboys, glass is better. Yes glass has to be handled carefully but it's better, Once you're beyond that, Intellitanks or Sanke kegs are better. Much better.

4-Rubber bungs/stoppers/corks. Silicone is WAY better. Harder to find what you need but much better and worth seeking out. And the silicone 1 way valve type airlock is miles better than any fluid based airlock.

5-Ferrari bottling valve. The red one. Yes, it's inexpensive(actually it's cheap) and kind of works, but it's fiddly and leaks and so a pain in the rear. Looking for something better.

Trying to think of other things I don't like but there aren't many. I can think of a bunch of things I do like!
 
Speaking of tubing, I’ve got a little bit of everything, but have a length of the thicker 3/8” that I pretty much use exclusively.
I’ve been using it for years. It’s broken in perfectly. But it’s in need of a deep clean. Just did an overnight soak in pbr, but didn’t get it as good as I wanted.
If anyone has a trick I’m all ears. I had a long tube brush but the wire broke. Gonna rig that back up unless there was some better alternative.
 
I bought this thing called, I think, a hydrometer or something like that. Totally useless. It was supposed to tell you how much alcohol was in the wine, but the stupid thing kept going DOWN, it kept telling me that there was less and less alcoholic potential, or something. I broke several before I gave up on them entirely. Now, I just ask WMT how many days I should ferment, and how many bubbles in my airlock is good.

(4/1/2019)

Just keep a detailed written log of bubbles per minute. Update every 4 hours. Gather all your data and then ask sourgrapes for the mathematical formula and you’ll get your abv%.
 
Speaking of tubing, I’ve got a little bit of everything, but have a length of the thicker 3/8” that I pretty much use exclusively.
I’ve been using it for years. It’s broken in perfectly. But it’s in need of a deep clean. Just did an overnight soak in pbr, but didn’t get it as good as I wanted.
If anyone has a trick I’m all ears. I had a long tube brush but the wire broke. Gonna rig that back up unless there was some better alternative.

I recommend replacing hoses every so often - cheap insurance
 
Speaking of tubing, I’ve got a little bit of everything, but have a length of the thicker 3/8” that I pretty much use exclusively.
I’ve been using it for years. It’s broken in perfectly. But it’s in need of a deep clean. Just did an overnight soak in pbr, but didn’t get it as good as I wanted.
If anyone has a trick I’m all ears. I had a long tube brush but the wire broke. Gonna rig that back up unless there was some better alternative.

Tie a piece of cloth to one end of a piece of string, the cloth sized to fit through the tubing very tightly, the string a foot or two longer than the tubing, and a knot tied on the tag end.

After your good tubing soak, with hot water running through the tubing, feed the knotted end of the string into the tubing, the water running through will pull the string all of the way through if you keep the string feeding into the tube freely. Put the cleanser of your choice on the cloth and pull it through. You’ll be amazed at how well you can clean your tubing. Repeat as much as you like.

Alternately, you can shove a wet piece of cloth with cleaner on it into one end, and attach that end to an air compressor. Slowly increase the air pressure until the cloth is pushed through the tubing. This is more fun, and I’ve blasted cloth through the tubing a bit dangerously, and it’s quite messy. The string method is also more thorough.
 
Tie a piece of cloth to one end of a piece of string, the cloth sized to fit through the tubing very tightly, the string a foot or two longer than the tubing, and a knot tied on the tag end.

After your good tubing soak, with hot water running through the tubing, feed the knotted end of the string into the tubing, the water running through will pull the string all of the way through if you keep the string feeding into the tube freely. Put the cleanser of your choice on the cloth and pull it through. You’ll be amazed at how well you can clean your tubing. Repeat as much as you like.

Alternately, you can shove a wet piece of cloth with cleaner on it into one end, and attach that end to an air compressor. Slowly increase the air pressure until the cloth is pushed through the tubing. This is more fun, and I’ve blasted cloth through the tubing a bit dangerously, and it’s quite messy. The string method is also more thorough.

Awesome. Will be giving this a shot. Thanks man. Doing some spring cleaning in the wine room. Getting organized and giving some things a proper thorough deep clean as needed. Can’t wait to blast wet cloths all over the walls.
 
Vinometer went out in the trash when we moved, as did some pH strips. I gave away one of those gravity fed filters (can't recall the name of it).
 
Ahh yes. Definitely the most useless item ever purchased. I had one as well until switching over to vacuum pump whole house filtering.

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I gave away one of those gravity fed filters (can't recall the name of it).
 
I think it's a progression thing. Some of the stuff I used at first will never be used again but at the time had a purpose. Bottle filling wand and auto siphon are out do to the AIO. I have a punch corker and later bought a 2 lever corker that are now collecting dust because of the floor corker. The tree top bottle washer was replaced with a brass pressure washer and a tubing washer. Plastic 6 gal big mouth fermenter which is used only if all the other fermenters are being used. Still used but not nearly as much as before are label scrapers since I'm finding new bottles are much less painful especially when I can get them for $5.00/case. The last thing I can think of although absolutely not usless are glass carboys since my barrel collection is growing. Again, it's a progression thing which everyone has different priorities.
 
I think it's a progression thing. Some of the stuff I used at first will never be used again but at the time had a purpose. Bottle filling wand and auto siphon are out do to the AIO. I have a punch corker and later bought a 2 lever corker that are now collecting dust because of the floor corker. The tree top bottle washer was replaced with a brass pressure washer and a tubing washer. Plastic 6 gal big mouth fermenter which is used only if all the other fermenters are being used. Still used but not nearly as much as before are label scrapers since I'm finding new bottles are much less painful especially when I can get them for $5.00/case. The last thing I can think of although absolutely not usless are glass carboys since my barrel collection is growing. Again, it's a progression thing which everyone has different priorities.

Vinometer was always useless
 

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