First welcome to wine making, as I have said many times before "it's a slippery slope". Although I have been obsessed with the hobby for 8 years now I have been absent from the forum for quite some time but not from wine making. In the last couple of years some of my techniques and procedures have changed so now might be a good time to review.
"Do you follow the instructions to the T?"
No BUT many of my best efforts have been when I have done so. An argument can be made that the best wine designers in the business have planned and tested this kit before you got it. On the other hand you may like more oak, tannin, sweetness or whatever, only you can know that and only you can do something about it.
"Do you leave out the stabilizing procedure, (sorbate, and fining agents) and let it clear on its own?"
Most of the time I leave out the stabilizing agents and sorbate. If you (or I) do any back sweetening at all the sorbate is a must! Except for the Mosti Mondaile kits (they absolutely will not clear properly for me with or without clearing agents (I understand they have now taken steps to solve the problem)) I now forgo the clearing agents. And by the way I no longer filter my wine. When I entered competitions I did all that but felt I was stripping out taste with each procedure so I stopped entering and stopped stripping my wine. I am much happier with my finished product now. White wine also being an exception, the sparkle in the glass is part of the white wine experience so I clear and filter whites.
"Do you bottle at 3 months, 6 months, or a year?"
I bottle between 9 and 12 months.
Additionally - I have thee small, 23 liter, Hungarian Oak barrels. All of my red wines get a 3 to 6 month barrel rest. Two of the barrels are completely neutral and the third is over a year old and will be approaching neutral soon. So I now have the benefit of adding French or American oak staves or spirals to the neutral barrels and still getting the micro oxygenation. I often switch the EC1118 yeast for RC212 on my big Italian reds (Brunello, Amarone, Barolo, Super Tuscan, Nero d' Avola). Those almost always get a fermenting dose of FT Rouge tannin to hold deep color better.
With all that said, keep in mind that following the instructions will almost always produce a good wine.
