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Humorous Signs:
IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER:
We will heel you, save your sole and even dye for you.
ON A BLINDS AND CURTAIN TRUCK: “Blind man driving.”
Over to a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels.”
On a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.”
On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed.”
On another Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout.”
On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts.”
In a Non-smoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”
On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push.”
At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”
Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”
In a veterinarian’s waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don't, you will be de-lighted.”
In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”
In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait.”
At a Propane Filling Station: "Thank Heaven for little grills.”
In a Chicago Radiator Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak.”
Over a men’s urinal: We aim to please, so you aim too, please.
 
Humorous Signs:
IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER:
We will heel you, save your sole and even dye for you.
ON A BLINDS AND CURTAIN TRUCK: “Blind man driving.”
Over to a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels.”
On a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.”
On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed.”
On another Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout.”
On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts.”
In a Non-smoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”
On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push.”
At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”
Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”
In a veterinarian’s waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don't, you will be de-lighted.”
In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”
In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait.”
At a Propane Filling Station: "Thank Heaven for little grills.”
In a Chicago Radiator Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak.”
Over a men’s urinal: We aim to please, so you aim too, please.
My favorite over the urinal was:
If your hose is too short or your pump is too weak, you better stand closer or you'll piss on your feet.
 

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