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You can tune a piano, but you cannot tuna fish.

Writing with a broken pencil is pointless.

I changed my iPods name to "Titanic." It is syncing now.

England does not have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl said she recognized me from the Vegetarian Club, but I swear I never met herbivore.

I know a guy that is addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop anytime.

The thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the fog clears in Los Angeles, UCLA.

I got some batteries which were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married and now they fight tooth and nail.

A will is a dead give away.

The police were summoned to the day care center where a 3-year-old was resisting a rest.

A bicycle cannot stand alone because it is two tired.
 

We were talking about this yeasterday. I didn't need it this year, but I in the past I have developed an Excel spreadsheet with many relative temporal references (things like =B5-C6/24/60) to get everything done at the right time!
 
I looked into getting a 'heat and eat' Thanksgiving meal from Wegman's a couple weeks ago. The cost? $37.95/person, not including dessert.

Wow. If the price increased according to CPI, $0.93 would have risen only to ~$7.

But then again, I think more highly of Wegman's food than K-Mart's! :)
 
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