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- Thread starter ibglowin
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Help Support Winemaking Talk - Winemaking Forum:
Two Basic Truths of Life
Lovers help each other undress before sex. However, after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, "Congratulations!" Have you ever seen anyone go up to the man, touch his privates and say, "Good job!"?
Moral of the story: Hard work is rarely appreciated.
Lovers help each other undress before sex. However, after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, "Congratulations!" Have you ever seen anyone go up to the man, touch his privates and say, "Good job!"?
Moral of the story: Hard work is rarely appreciated.
Five Important Rules of Life
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's far more pleasant to cry in a Porsche than in a Yugo.
2. Forgive your enemies, but remember the assholes.
3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
4. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then, neither does milk.
5. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
Observations:
#1: Condoms do not guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
#2: Congressmen and Congresswomen should wear uniforms with patches, like NASCAR drivers, so we may identify their corporate sponsors.
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's far more pleasant to cry in a Porsche than in a Yugo.
2. Forgive your enemies, but remember the assholes.
3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
4. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then, neither does milk.
5. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
Observations:
#1: Condoms do not guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
#2: Congressmen and Congresswomen should wear uniforms with patches, like NASCAR drivers, so we may identify their corporate sponsors.
The burlap feed bags for cows were an improvement on the upholstery of a Yugo ... far less abrasive!
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Welcome to Wisconsin
Boatboy24
No longer a newbie, but still clueless.
winemanden
Senior Member
2. Forgive your enemies, but remember the assholes.????
Den, I took that to mean, "forgive" them but don't "forget" them. I understand this and believe it. My feeling is that I start everyone out to be fair, honest, ethical, etc., but once they do something unfair, dishonest or unethical, they have proven they are capable of the act and could do it again.
winemanden
Senior Member
Just joking Rocky. It just made me laugh at the time.
Oh, okay. I thought you were serious, and that we had a "separated by a common language" occurrence that G. B. Shaw referenced.Just joking Rocky. It just made me laugh at the time.
Boatboy24
No longer a newbie, but still clueless.
jswordy
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OMG yes! My head is aching like I've been on a bender and my ears are full. Spring is here.
