last trip to Costco

[tonyt]

[FONT=&quot]A RETIREE'S LAST TRIP TO C[/FONT][FONT=&quot]OSTCO[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Watson , the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]​[/FONT][FONT=&quot]behind me asked if I had a dog. [/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]What did she think I had an elephant?[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] I told her that it was[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]​[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one [/FONT][FONT=&quot]or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, (certified), so it works well and I was going to try it again.[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled [/FONT][FONT=&quot]​[/FONT][FONT=&quot]with my story.) [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.[/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]
[FONT=&quot] They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot][/FONT]

 

[jswordy]

I once asked a lady at Wal-Mart if they had any chow-chow, and she said, "Why sure, it's over on the dog food aisle!"

Now, if you don't know what chow-chow is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chow-chow_(food)

Oh yes, I once had an employee named Brian who kept a box of Purina Small Dog Biscuits on his desktop. When he thought he had done something good, he'd take one out, throw it in the air, catch it in his mouth and eat it. The women in the office would go nuts.

 

[Boatboy24]

Oh yes, I once had an employee named Brian who kept a box of Purina Small Dog Biscuits on his desktop. When he thought he had done something good, he'd take one out, throw it in the air, catch it in his mouth and eat it. The women in the office would go nuts.

Well, yeah! They weren't Milk Bone!

 

[jswordy]

Oh he'd buy Milk Bone, too!