Joke of the Day

[djrockinsteve]

Ask a cajun a question and you will always get the correct answer.

A man approached Boudreaux when he was visiting in Mamou (Louisiana).

'Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me the quickest way to get to Ville Platte?'

Boudreaux scratched his head, 'Are you walkin' or drivin'?' he asked the stranger.

'I'm driving.'

'Dat's the quickest way!'

 

[djrockinsteve]

A Few Holiday Jokes..........For Kids and Adults

If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Their AGE

Why can't you take a turkey to church?
Because they use such FOWL language

What are the feathers on a turkey's wings called?
Turkey feathers

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside

What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock

 

[JohnT]

a few holiday jokes..........for kids and adults

if the pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Their age

why can't you take a turkey to church?
Because they use such fowl language

what are the feathers on a turkey's wings called?
Turkey feathers

which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside

what kind of music did the pilgrims like?
Plymouth rock

lame!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Tom]

A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said,

'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

With even greater emphasis he said,

'And if I had
All the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he
Said, 'And if I had all the whiskey in the world,
I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

Sermon complete, he sat down





The song leader stood very cautiously and announced
With a smile, nearly laughing, 'For our closing song,
Let us sing



Hymn #365, 'Shall We Gather at the River.'

Smile, life is too short not to!

 

[Tom]

Senior Texting

Senior Texting Some of these may come in handy.....

Since more and more Seniors are texting and tweeting there appears to be a
need for a STC (Senior Texting Code). If you qualify for Senior Discounts,
this is the code for you....

ATD: At The Doctor's
BFF: Best Friend Farted
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered By Medicare
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWBB: Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
LWO: Lawrence Welk's On
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
ROFL... CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again
WTP: Where's The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil
LMGA: Lost My Glasses Again
GLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In)

 

[Tom]

In honor of the playoffs, here you go:


Football FINALLY makes sense...........

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

'Oh, I really liked it,' she replied, 'especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.'

Dumbfounded, her date asked, 'What do you mean?'

'Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was:

'Get the quarterback ! Get the quarterback !'