Man Rules :)

[closetwine]

Women's Rebuttal

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)
At least act like you have a mind!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
And you don't fall in either. If I fall in you clean it for a month!
1. Sunday sports or news, It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
Kinda like PMS? Then you should be more sympathetic. And stop taking the comics to the bathroom with you.
1.. Crying is blackmail.
And it works! Don't fix what ain't broke!
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
When I say, "I kinda like that." You're expected to deliver it on the next appropriate holiday.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Be smart enough to know which one to use.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
Don't complain when you see the phone bill. We girlfriends were just talking about your shortcomings.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
There is no statute of limitations. And you outta know better than to bring mom into it.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
If you think your bad in bed, don't ask. You probably are!
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
Prove it.
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.
God gave me a man to get it done, but brains to tell him how. FYI read the instructions and we won't have to!
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
Quite running to the bathroom, or getting another drink on commercials and we might have a chance to do that.
1. Captain Cook did NOT need directions and neither do we.
Maybe not, but I'd like to get there on time!
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
Then don't complain when we dress you.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
If it is in public, we will complain. We do that!
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..
If you wanna get any soon, better decide it is worth the hassel!
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
Get smart guys. Compliment us before we can ask!
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
And anything you wear isn't. I'm not going out with a bum!
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football
or Cars.
Correst answer is "how beatiful you are, or how much I love you."
1. You have enough clothes.
NEVER!!!
1. You have too many shoes.
THAT IS WAR!!!
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
Yes, but if I have sex with round... I might fall off and get hurt. You want a nice set of boobs and a nice butt, then I want a six-pack abs and a tight tush!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
Roses, chocolate, poetry, and lots of *** kisssing in your future!


Most importantly: Our rules are subject to change at any moment and without warning and you are still expected to follow them!

 

[Sirs]

LOL really good

 

[Midwest Vintner]

i think man rules should be based on what makes a man and man to man talk/actions. man to woman rules don't work too well.

example, a man should not drink a glass of wine or beer without offering his fellow man one.

or

for no reason should a man every wear tight pants.