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Hey all, with Thanksgiving just around the corner I thought I would share my recipe with you.


WALDO'S BAKED STUFFED TURKEY
16-20 lb. Turkey
1 cup melted butter
6cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is good.)
2cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT)
Salt/pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. BrushTurkey well with melted
butter, salt,and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn.
Place in baking pan withthe neck end toward the back of the oven.
Listen for thepopping sounds. When the Turkey's ass blows the oven
door open and theTurkey flies acrossthe room, it is done.
 
9 Things to do at Wal-Mart when your bored


1. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals
2. Go the service desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away
3. Set up a tent in the camping dept. and tell shoppers you'll invite Them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding dept.
4. When a clerk asks if they can help, begin to cry and ask " Why can't people just leave me alone?"
5. While handing guns in the Hunting dept., Ask the clerk where the anti-depressants are.
6. In the auto dept, practice your "Madonna Look" using different size funnels.
7. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
8. Go into the fitting room and shut the door and wait. Then yell, "There's no toilet paper in here!"
9. Hide in a Clothing rake and when people browse through, say "Pick Me! pick Me!"
 
This is for wadewade:


A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot. one day a construction crew turned up to start a building a house on the empty lot. the young family's 5-year old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.


Eventually the construction crew, more or less adopted her as a kind of job mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them for lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.


At the end of the week they presented her with a pay envelope containing two dollars. the little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two dollars to the bank and start=art a savings account.


When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asks the little girl how she came by her own pay check. the little girl proudly replied, "I work last week with a crew building the house next door to us".


"My goodness gracious" said the teller, " And will you be working next week on the house"


The little girl replied, " I will if those a-holes at Home Depot would ever deliver the friging sheetrock..."


kind of brings a tear to your eye don't it
 
A politician dies and goes to the pearly gates where St. Micheal is
standing. St Micheal says there is a dilemma, we usually dont let
politicians in here. Before you enter he says, there is one thing that
you have to know. For one day youll be sent to hell and the next day
youll reside here. After those 2 days youll have to make a decision as
to where youll want to stay. The politician says I want to stay here
and St. Micheal says no, you have to spend a day at both, those are the
rules. He sends the politian into the elevator to hell. When he arrives
in hell he is greated by all his lawyer and politician friends on a
golf coarse where they are all having a great time playing golf and
having drinks.The 24 hours go by and he his sent to heaven where he
also has a good time but doesnt really know anyone. Those 24 hours go
by and he is greated the next morning by St. Micheal again. St. Micheal
asks him iwhat his final decision is. The politician says that he had a
great time in both places but he wants to go to hell where all his
friends are. Poof, he is sent to hell and when he gets there, all his
friends are wearing torn clothes and are slaving away and are all
extremely unhappy. He turns around and sees the devil and asks whats
going on. Yesterday they were all playing golf and so very happy. The
devil says,yesterday we were all campaigning and then says, today you
voted!
 
Here is the thought for today. Things that we should live by!!


Calmness in our Lives

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works. We could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the
Dr. Phil show, you too, can find inner peace.

Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started and never
finished."

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I'd started and hadn't finished. And before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a bottle of Kahlua,a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos and a box of chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking good I feel.
 
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Bwahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Edited by: Waldo
 

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