I like having a Jersey Wife

[JohnT]

So, I am on this Diet. The wife is really cracking the whip and keeping me on track. So far, she has been as strict as a maximum security prison guard. In fact, she threatens me with "a night in the box" each time I am tempted to break my diet.

In my many years of experience, I have come to understand that there are times where a ice-cold beer is simply the perfect thing. Times where you are thirsty, have worked hard and sweated yourself into a feeling of accomplishment. These are the times where a beer just simply tastes fantastic. It is hard to describe. There are times where a beer is taken for granted and times where a beer just seems to taste unbelievable.

So, on Sunday, after working my tail off all weekend, I simply wanted to plunk down in my recliner and sip a cold beer (a big no-no while on a low carb diet) and watch the NY Giants game.

How was I ever going to get this to happen without incurring the wrath of my Jersey wife? I though about this long and hard. Then it came to me! I have a Jersey wife!!!

I knew that the wife was hosting a bridge game on Monday. She had mentioned that the floors really needed to be vacuumed. This is a job that I know she simply hates.

So I said to her (in my best Mafioso voice).. "I am gonna watch some football, have beer, and vacuum the house if you say nothin'".

She was giving me the "you can't have any" look and I saw that she was about say something, but I interrupted her.... "I am gonna watch some football, have beer, and vacuum the house if you say nothin".

It clicked! She realized that she gets clean floors and all it would cost is to allow me some beer. I knew she got it when she smiled and not a word..

I not only vacuumed the floors, I also washed the kitchen floor afterwards.
Nothing like having a good Jersey wife to make bargains with!

 

[Boatboy24]

And the best part is, you probably worked that beer off with the vacuuming and floor cleaning.

 

[JohnT]

And the best part is, you probably worked that beer off with the vacuuming and floor cleaning.

I have no doubt. It was rather warm and humid yesterday and (by the time I was done) I was drenched...

 

[Steve_M]

Reverse physiology. Awesome, and yes it was hot humid here wasn't it?

 

[wineforfun]

she threatens me with "a night in the box"

John,
You have GOT to quit lobbing these out there.

 

[JohnT]

 

[wineforfun]

In all seriousness, I tell everyone, I eat for a purpose, not pleasure. I hear from a lot of co-workers, "you're no fun". Really? I beg to differ, go out with me sometime, I am a lot of fun. However, I don't let food dictate my fun, especially when eating unhealthy makes me feel like crap.

I eat a very strict diet, by choice. Cheat day is on Saturday. Eat whatever I want on that day. Otherwise it is egg whites, oatmeal and fruit for breakfast. Chicken breast and sweet potato for lunch. Fish and brown rice for dinner................just like clockwork. Snack on raw almonds, protein drink and 85% dark chocolate. Been doing this for quite a few years now.
Mind over matter.

 

[Turock]

I like having NO wife. Life is more fun when you have no one to bother you all the time.

 

[pjd]

JohnT,
I've been doing the low carb diet and it works for me. I do allow 1 beer a day but probably only drink 2 or 3 a week. I've lost 65 pounds so far and have never felt better!

 

[Johny99]

JohnT,
I've been doing the low carb diet and it works for me. I do allow 1 beer a day but probably only drink 2 or 3 a week. I've lost 65 pounds so far and have never felt better!

Go man go.

 

[hounddawg]

hum train well i see.
whats she rent you out for???
Dawg

So, I am on this Diet. The wife is really cracking the whip and keeping me on track. So far, she has been as strict as a maximum security prison guard. In fact, she threatens me with "a night in the box" each time I am tempted to break my diet.

In my many years of experience, I have come to understand that there are times where a ice-cold beer is simply the perfect thing. Times where you are thirsty, have worked hard and sweated yourself into a feeling of accomplishment. These are the times where a beer just simply tastes fantastic. It is hard to describe. There are times where a beer is taken for granted and times where a beer just seems to taste unbelievable.

So, on Sunday, after working my tail off all weekend, I simply wanted to plunk down in my recliner and sip a cold beer (a big no-no while on a low carb diet) and watch the NY Giants game.

How was I ever going to get this to happen without incurring the wrath of my Jersey wife? I though about this long and hard. Then it came to me! I have a Jersey wife!!!

I knew that the wife was hosting a bridge game on Monday. She had mentioned that the floors really needed to be vacuumed. This is a job that I know she simply hates.

So I said to her (in my best Mafioso voice).. "I am gonna watch some football, have beer, and vacuum the house if you say nothin'".

She was giving me the "you can't have any" look and I saw that she was about say something, but I interrupted her.... "I am gonna watch some football, have beer, and vacuum the house if you say nothin".

It clicked! She realized that she gets clean floors and all it would cost is to allow me some beer. I knew she got it when she smiled and not a word..

I not only vacuumed the floors, I also washed the kitchen floor afterwards.
Nothing like having a good Jersey wife to make bargains with!

 

[JohnT]

Not nearly enough!