Personal ad in winemaking classifieds

[ckvchestnut]

OMG this is funny! I was looking at my local online classifieds in search of some more carboys and stumbled on this in the winemaking section!

"Hi there,

I am in desperate need of a replacement best friend. I have no one and as the winter months truly start to kick in I find myself very lonely.

What I Will Bring To Our Friendship:
-Wine
-Patron- when needed
-I'd say pretty decent listening skills
- Wine Glasses
-Two Shot Glasses

What I am looking for in a new Best Friend
- Peppy and nice- not to much of either or I won't like you
- An elaborate dream for our future- but thats all that it can be…a dream.
- No skinny b*tch*s! I like to eat
- You must be funny and make me laugh
- Two hang outs per week… anymore and we'll have to break up due to your clingy-ness.
- Desire to get white-girl wasted
- Adventurous is an asset.


Looking for someone (preferably female) to replace my old best friend that happened to be my sister. She had an elaborate plan to move to Ireland… it was supposed to be a dream but no… she actually moved August 2013.

-ie. Any wishful thinking must be hypothetical ONLY!


Serious inquiries only please."

 

[StoneCreek]

I love it! You have a winemaking section??

 

[ckvchestnut]

Ha well no... I was doing a search for winemaking stuff and this ad came up in the search for carboys or wine making or something... very funny. Here's the link to the actual ad: http://ottawa.kijiji.ca/c-buy-and-sell-other-IN-URGENT-NEED-OF-A-NEW-BEST-FRIEND-W0QQAdIdZ560704880

 

[Runningwolf]

I think you should reply, might fit him with a pair of shoes! Heck while your at it and have the forge going, you may as well heat up the branding iron.

 

[ckvchestnut]

I think you should reply, might fit him with a pair of shoes! Heck while your at it and have the forge going, you may as well heat up the branding iron.

lmao! Yup! You know that's even more clever than what I was thinking - whips and spurs... lol

 

[turkeylipz]

.

- Desire to get white-girl wasted."

Sweet Jesus! Lmao on the train commute to this one. Will add that to my lexicon!


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