The talking dog

[Rocky]

A guy walks into a saloon with a little dogs and sets him on the bar. He looks at the bartender and says, "My dog can talk!"
The bartender says, "Bull crap!"
"If I can show you, will you give me a drink?" he asks the barkeep, who readily agrees.
He says to the dog, "What do you call the outside of a tree?" and the dog goes, "Bark!" and the bartender is not impressed.
The man continues, "What does sandpaper feel like?" and the little dog goes, "ruff!" as the bartender looses his patience.
"Let me try one more time," says the man and he asks the dog, "Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?" and the dog goes "Roof!" At this point, the disgusted bartender says, "That is it. You get the hell out of here and take you stupid mutt with you!" and bodily throws the man and the little dog out into the street.
As the man and the dog pull themselves to their feet, the little dog looks up at the man, shrugs and says, "DiMaggio?"

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[BarrelMonkey]

I also have a talking dog joke

Rex the sheepdog lived and worked on a farm. One day the farmer came to him and said: "Rex, all the sheep are up in the pasture. I want you to go get them and bring them down to the barn, OK?" "Sure thing, boss!' says Rex.

An hour later, Rex returns and says "That was hard work, but all 100 sheep are now in the barn". The farmer says "That's great, Rex, but I thought we only have 99 sheep?"

"Yes', says Rex, 'I rounded up..."