How to Cook a Turkey:
Step 1: Buy a turkey.
Step 2: Have glass of wine.
Step 3: Stuff turkey.
Step 4: Have glass of wine.
Step 5: Put Turkey in oven.
Step 6: Relax, and have another few glasses of wine.
Step 7: Turk the bastey.
Step 8: Wine of glass another get.
Step 9: Ponder the meat thermometer.
Step 10: Glass yourself another pour of wine.
Step 11: Bake the wine for 4 hours.
Step 12: Take the oven out of the turkey.
Step 13: Floor the turkey up off the pick.
Step 14: Turk the carvey.
Step 15: Get yourself another wattle of bine.
Step 16: Tet sable, pour yourself another glass of turkey.
Step 17: Say grace, throw-up, and pass out.
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store for Thanksgiving Day, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
“No, ma’am. They’re dead.”
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their AGE!
They should change the name of Thanksgiving to something more fitting like say, Turkeypocolypse or Stuffing-cide.
Want to really freak someone out? Add 2 extra turkey legs to the turkey when it's in the oven.
For the first time, we are going to have a HAPPY Thanksgiving. This year, I am stuffing the turkey with Prozac!
Hope your Turkey is moist and your stuffing in fluffy and when you're done eating you'll be nice and stuffy.
Happy Turkey Day, America! Don't forget to name the turkey and make everyone uncomfortable.