2005 WineMaker Amateur Wine Competition

[masta]

Do you have a really good batch of wine or mead?


http://byo.com/feature/1111.html

 

[Hippie]

I have several really good batches of wine, and no way to get anything to a contest. I got caught trying to ship some wine here a while back and they (I think the ones that drive black sedans) are watching me.

 

[MedPretzel]

Well, CW, I would do what I've done.....





I tell people now that they need to sprinkle a little of my wine on themselves before, during or after they drink it, so I am NOT lying to UPS....





You see, perfume is made with alcohol, and no one can catch you for that. So, when I say I'm sending "perfume samples" I am not lying.





You might want to try it one more time?

Martina

 

[Hippie]

I don't know. Down here in this dry county, sometimes they wanna make an example out of someone.

 

[MedPretzel]

I understand.... I'm sad, because that means, no Glenvallwine for me, huh?

 

[Hippie]

Not unless you come down here after it!

 

[MedPretzel]

Now Glenvall, I could never drive down there, pick up the wine, drive back up here, and drink it! You know that!





I'd pick up the wine, DRINK it, THEN drive back up here. Not the correct order!!!

 

[Hippie]

OK, I got it. Drive down here, get wine, drink some, get sleep, drive back, drink the rest.

 

[MedPretzel]

Now there's a thought....

Are there lots of places to stay at where you're at? Not that I'm found somewhere in Arkansas passed out in my car.

 

[Hippie]

Uh......we have lots of modern hotels, motels, bed and breakfasts, cabins, etc. Most have running water and indoor plumbing!

 

[AAASTINKIE]

You saying I can't ship my wine anywhere without risking trouble

 

[MedPretzel]

Well, I haven't gotten in trouble yet, and I've sent my wines quite a few places. But I live in a more urban area, so they probably get a lot more packages than in somwhat more rural areas.





I'd still say try the perfume samples way, and you should be fine.

 

[Hippie]

Stinkie, unfortunately, we have very strict and unfair laws here, most seem to be made and enforced more as a way to increase revenue than as a way to deter crime. The stupidest laws here are those that regulate selling, buying, drinking,and shipping alcoholic beverages. The nearest liquor store to me is 30+ miles, and then no sales on Sundays. Drinking alcoholic beverages while outside on your own property can land you in jail charged with public intoxication. Riding in a vehicle while drinking an alcoholic beverage can land you in jail charged with drinking on the highway. If you are an intoxicatedpassenger in a vehicle driven by a drunk driver and he goes to jail, you are punished for not driving drunk by also going to jail. Do you think I am kidding or exxagerating at all? Nope. Edited by: Country Wine

 

[MedPretzel]

Come to Ohio, Glenvall. We don't have laws like that.








My sympathies.

 

[AAASTINKIE]

Well, since I have a class A drivers license I never leave the house
once I have a drink..and because I am on the company Hazmat team I wrap
my syrup when packet in glass so it can't leak unless they run it over
with a forktruck...put the bottle in a ziplock bag, wrap in bubble
wrap, another ziplock bag, packed in peanuts in a big box and clearly
marked on the outside maple syrup, that way if it does leak someone
will know what it was, after 911 we were called out for some tarter
sauce in a box at a company, of course the box had nuclear stuff in it,
but the company had to pay 15,000 for our response. I don't want to be
liable for a response for a bottle of wine.

 

[Hippie]

Wow Stinkie, you must have OCD like me. I am glad we have young folks like you protecting us from the bad guys.

 

[Hippie]

Come to Ohio, Glenvall. We don't have laws like that.








My sympathies.

You have lots of snow and ice and very long winters. I will just stay here and behave myself. Thanks for the sympathy though. If you saw this country, you wouldn't feel sorry for me.

 

[AAASTINKIE]

did you say young, I'm glad you think I'm young, it's probably my full
head of brown hair (yes I know none of you have ever seen me) or is it
my green elf suit that fools you.....where did I leave that syrup!!

 

[MedPretzel]

Oh, I KNOW your part of the country is beautiful, Glenvall. If it wouldn't be for some reasons, I'd be down south in a heartbeat. I believe I was a southern belle-debutant in my former life.





You know, like Scarlett, and the men just always just whisked me away.

 

[Hippie]

I think the actual trend is to move south, really. Lots of yankees down here. No, you do not detect a slight hint of bitterness!