tonyt
Senior Member
- Joined
- Aug 18, 2009
- Messages
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[FONT="]A RETIREE'S LAST TRIP TO C[/FONT][FONT="]OSTCO[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="]Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Watson , the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT][FONT="]behind me asked if I had a dog. [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="]What did she think I had an elephant?[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="] So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.[/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="] I told her that it was[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="]essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="]works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one [/FONT][FONT="]or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, (certified), so it works well and I was going to try it again.[/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="] (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT][FONT="]with my story.) [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="] Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="]I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.[/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="]I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="] Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="] They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="]Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Watson , the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT][FONT="]behind me asked if I had a dog. [/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="]What did she think I had an elephant?[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="] So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.[/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="] I told her that it was[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="]essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="]works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one [/FONT][FONT="]or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, (certified), so it works well and I was going to try it again.[/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="] (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT][FONT="]with my story.) [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="] Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="]I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.[/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="]I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="] Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]
[FONT="] They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="][/FONT]