An interesting historical tidbit

[Rocky]

Itruly enjoyhistory and I was reading about ancient Egypt. It was really and advanced civilization and one of the first to recognize the importance of waste (sewage) removal and water supply in large cities. As a matter of fact, they thought this was so important that the Egyptian rulers offered fully paid scholarships to the university for students wishing to enter this field.They were called Pharaoh Faucet Majors.

Sorry, it's a slow day!

 

[LittleLeroy]

I think it is time for another glass of wine.

 

[Rocky]

C'mon Guys, this is good stuff! If you guys don't start adding some puns, I will keep it up!

 

[Rocky]

Before the advent of accurate and portable time pieces, militaryleaders had a difficult time co-ordinating battles, specifically time of attack, with their dispersed commanders. Alexander the Great and his chemists found a solution to the problem that was as simple as dipping a strip of cotton clothinto a chemical mixture. Once the mixture dried, it would change colors from red thru the spectrum to violet in approximately 1/2 hour intervals. Commanders wore the strip of cloth around their arms. By noting the number of colors that had changed, a field commander could estimate the time that had elapsed since donning the wrap and better plan their individual attacks. These strips became known as Alexander's Rag Time Band.

 

[lieu]

Hey Rocky
If I have to do any research for the next class I take Ill put you to work.

 

[PeterZ]

Chicago Cubs pitcher Mel Famey had pitched a full game the day before, so he knew he wouldn't be back on the mound for three days. It was hot in the bullpen, but fortunately there was a beer stand nearby. Mel cooled off by drinking beer.


It came down to the ninth, and the score remained tied at four. The game went into extra innings, but nobody scored. The Cubs had gone through the entire bullpen. In the bottom of the 13th, the last pitcher except for Mel injured his elbow. Mel had to take the mound, despite all of the empty cups at his feet.


Mel took the mound, walked four batters in 16 pitches, and walked in the winning run.


As the opposing team walked past the Cub's bullpen, one player pointed to the cups on the ground and said, "There's the beer that made Mel Famey walk us."

 

[ibglowin]

Drum roll please..........

 

[Rocky]

All right Peter! That's what we are looking for! Good job. I love it,"the beer that made Mel Famey walk us." (for the youngsters on the forum, that is a parody of Schlitz' line, "the beer that made Milwaukee famous!"

 

[Rocky]

We were having Eggs Benedict for brunch and I made the mistake of putting the extra sauce in a copper plated gravy boat. Somehow, the copper reacted with the sauce and the sauce was spoiled. My wife said, "You should have used the chrome plated gravy boat for the sauce and we would not have had this problem. There's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise."

 

[grapeman]

And my family thinks I have a weird sense of humor...........................
These sound like ones I would make up!

 

[Rocky]

Roy Rogers and Gabby Hayes were camping out on the prairie. Before they retired, Roy put his brand new boots outside the tent. In the morning, the boots were gone but Roy saw tracks in the area and said, "I think it was a Cougar and I am going out to get him!" With that, he saddled Trigger and rode off, following the tracksinto the morning sunrise. About three hours later, he returned with a dead Cougar draped over Trigger's saddle. Gabby said, "Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?"

I got a million of 'em, a million of 'em! Ha cha cha!

 

[rrussell]

4 down and only 999,996 to go.

 

[Rocky]

A Russian named Rudolf looked out his window and said to his wife, "Is raining."
She looked out and said, "No, is snowing."
"IS RAINING!"
"IS SNOWING!"
So Ruddy said, "Ve call People's Weather Bureau to settle dispute!"
So he called the People's Weather Bureau and, sure enough, they confirmed that it was indeed raining.
This goes to show that Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear.

 

[Brent2489]

UGGH!!!!!

 

[OilnH2O]

During the middle ages in Europe, one of the monasteries decided to beautify their vegetable gardens. So, the Friars added various varieties of flowers. Soon their gardens were something to behold, and the villagers asked if they could buy the flowers. Realizing they could supplement their meager income, the Friars set up a stand along the road near the monastery and sold flowers to one and all.
This went over big with the villagers, except for the owners of several flower shops in the village, who noticed a big drop-off in their own business. The owners got together and decided to hire the town thug, a dimwit named Hugh, to "persuade" the Friars that it would be in their best interest to stop selling their flowers. Over the next few days, Hugh visited the monastery, tore down the flower stands, and trashed the gardens.
Soon, there was a sign by the remnants of the road-side stand that read, "Closed - Out of Business." That night, the village florists got together with a bottle of wine to toast their success. As they raised their glasses they said, "Remember, Hugh -- and only Hugh -- can prevent florist Friars."

 

[Rocky]

Good job, Dave! Glad to see there are others who enjoy good, clean pun. (Sorry, couldn't resist that.)


I know you guys and gals have some good ones to share. Or maybe you like the jokes a little risque???? Well...if so,


The Nordic God awoke from a night of bacchanalia and debauchery, stretched and beat his chest and said, "Look upon me, I am mighty Thor!" and the beautiful Goddess next to him said, "You're thore?!!! I tho thore I can hardly pith!"

 

[Rocky]

Okay, no more risque jokes. Got it.


A vulture is boarding an airlinercarrying two dead raccoons. The Stewardess stops him and says, " I'm sorry, Sir, only one carrion per passerger."


Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "Dam!"


(This one is especially for Mike) Two Hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" and the first one says, "Yes, I'm positive."


...okay, okay, just one more...


A Buddhist refused Novacain during a root canal procedure. His goal: Transcend dental medication.

 

[ibglowin]

Drum Roll

 

[Rocky]

I have put ten great puns on this site hoping to get a little chuckle out of you people, but, sadly, no pun in ten did!

 

[hannabarn]

Damn, Rocky, I can't add to it but please don't stop!