Some Golf quips...

Wine Making Talk

Help Support Wine Making Talk:

Rocky

Chronologically Gifted Member
WMT Supporter
Joined
Jan 29, 2011
Messages
6,460
Reaction score
3,233
Location
Columbus, OH
These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.
~ Sam Snead

I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool.
~ George Brett

Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that.
~ Jim Murray

The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.
~ Mickey Mantle

Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them
~ Kevin Costner

I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par..
~ Chi Rodriguez

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.
~ Chi Rodriguez

The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.
~ Brian Weis

Swing hard in case you hit it.
~ Dan Marino

My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered.
~ Lord Robertson

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
~ Jack Benny

There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
~ Ben Hogan

Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best
~ Jack Nicklaus

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law.
~ H G Wells

I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course.
~ Billy Graham

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf..
~ Bob Hope

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
~ Henny Youngman

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
~ Jack Lemmon

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
~ Lee Trevino

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.
~ Lee Trevino
 

Boatboy24

No longer a newbie, but still clueless.
Joined
Mar 18, 2012
Messages
14,776
Reaction score
13,990
Location
DC Suburbs
Good stuff, and rather timely, with yesterday being the 40th anniversary of the release of Caddyshack.
 

Riledup5

The Wiser You Get, The Less You Speak
WMT Supporter
Joined
Jan 15, 2021
Messages
102
Reaction score
169
Location
Foothills of Colorado
Ten Best Caddy Responses (Under his breath)

Number :10
Golfer: "I think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"

Number : 9
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."

Number : 8
Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes . . . You miss the ball much closer now."

Number : 7
Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."

Number : 6
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so . . .That would be too much of a coincidence."

Number : 5
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."

Number : 4
Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "It's very good - personally, I prefer golf."

Number : 3
Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?
Caddy: "The way you play, it's a sin on any day."

Number : 2
Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."

And the Number : 1 . . . Best Caddy Comment:
Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."

😂😂😂
 

Bossbaby

Senior Member
Joined
Sep 4, 2020
Messages
161
Reaction score
169
Ten Best Caddy Responses (Under his breath)

Number :10
Golfer: "I think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"

Number : 9
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."

Number : 8
Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes . . . You miss the ball much closer now."

Number : 7
Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."

Number : 6
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so . . .That would be too much of a coincidence."

Number : 5
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."

Number : 4
Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "It's very good - personally, I prefer golf."

Number : 3
Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?
Caddy: "The way you play, it's a sin on any day."

Number : 2
Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."

And the Number : 1 . . . Best Caddy Comment:
Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."

😂😂😂
I'm not a golfer more of a fisherman but those are really funny!😂
 

Latest posts

Top