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Bring out your Dead

I'm not Dead Yet!!!!

View attachment 98139
I used to watch Monty Python with my son all the time. One morning when he was four or five he was trying to roust me out of bed and as he was walking out the door he turned and said… in his best outrageous French accent… “Now get out of bed or I shall taunt you a second time” 🤣. Dang near peed myself I laughed so hard! I raised him right!
 
Dementia Quiz

1. YOU ARE A PARTICIPANT IN A RACE. YOU OVERTAKE THE SECOND PERSON. WHAT POSITION ARE YOU IN?
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
ANSWER : IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE FIRST, THEN YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY WRONG! IF YOU OVERTAKE THE SECOND PERSON AND YOU TAKE HIS PLACE, YOU ARE IN SECOND PLACE!

2. IF YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON, THEN YOU ARE....?
(SCROLL DOWN)
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
ANSWER: IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE SECOND TO LAST, THEN YOU ARE.....WRONG AGAIN. TELL ME SUNSHINE, HOW CAN YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON??

3. VERY TRICKY ARITHMETIC! NOTE: THIS MUST BE DONE IN YOUR HEAD ONLY. DO NOT USE PAPER AND PENCIL OR A CALCULATOR.

TAKE 1000 AND ADD 40 TO IT. NOW ADD ANOTHER 1000 NOW ADD 30. ADD ANOTHER 1000. NOW ADD 20 .. NOW ADD ANOTHER 1000. NOW ADD 10. WHAT IS THE TOTAL?
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
DID YOU GET 5000? THE CORRECT ANSWER IS ACTUALLY 4100.

4. MARY'S FATHER HAS FIVE DAUGHTERS: 1. NANA, 2. NENE, 3. NINI, 4.. NONO, AND ??? (WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE FIFTH DAUGHTER?)
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
Answer: DID YOU ANSWER NUNU? NO! OF COURSE IT ISN'T. HER NAME IS MARY! READ THE QUESTION AGAIN!

5. A MUTE PERSON GOES INTO A SHOP AND WANTS TO BUY A TOOTHBRUSH. BY IMITATING THE ACTION OF BRUSHING HIS TEETH HE, SUCCESSFULLY EXPRESSES HIMSELF TO THE SHOPKEEPER AND THE PURCHASE IS DONE. NEXT, A BLIND MAN COMES INTO THE SHOP WHO WANTS TO BUY A PAIR OF SUNGLASSES. HOW DOES HE INDICATE WHAT HE WANTS?
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
Answer: IT'S REALLY VERY SIMPLE. HE OPENS HIS MOUTH AND ASKS FOR IT.
 
Dementia Quiz

1. YOU ARE A PARTICIPANT IN A RACE. YOU OVERTAKE THE SECOND PERSON. WHAT POSITION ARE YOU IN?
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
ANSWER : IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE FIRST, THEN YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY WRONG! IF YOU OVERTAKE THE SECOND PERSON AND YOU TAKE HIS PLACE, YOU ARE IN SECOND PLACE!

2. IF YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON, THEN YOU ARE....?
(SCROLL DOWN)
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
ANSWER: IF YOU ANSWERED THAT YOU ARE SECOND TO LAST, THEN YOU ARE.....WRONG AGAIN. TELL ME SUNSHINE, HOW CAN YOU OVERTAKE THE LAST PERSON??

3. VERY TRICKY ARITHMETIC! NOTE: THIS MUST BE DONE IN YOUR HEAD ONLY. DO NOT USE PAPER AND PENCIL OR A CALCULATOR.

TAKE 1000 AND ADD 40 TO IT. NOW ADD ANOTHER 1000 NOW ADD 30. ADD ANOTHER 1000. NOW ADD 20 .. NOW ADD ANOTHER 1000. NOW ADD 10. WHAT IS THE TOTAL?
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
DID YOU GET 5000? THE CORRECT ANSWER IS ACTUALLY 4100.

4. MARY'S FATHER HAS FIVE DAUGHTERS: 1. NANA, 2. NENE, 3. NINI, 4.. NONO, AND ??? (WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE FIFTH DAUGHTER?)
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
Answer: DID YOU ANSWER NUNU? NO! OF COURSE IT ISN'T. HER NAME IS MARY! READ THE QUESTION AGAIN!

5. A MUTE PERSON GOES INTO A SHOP AND WANTS TO BUY A TOOTHBRUSH. BY IMITATING THE ACTION OF BRUSHING HIS TEETH HE, SUCCESSFULLY EXPRESSES HIMSELF TO THE SHOPKEEPER AND THE PURCHASE IS DONE. NEXT, A BLIND MAN COMES INTO THE SHOP WHO WANTS TO BUY A PAIR OF SUNGLASSES. HOW DOES HE INDICATE WHAT HE WANTS?
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
Answer: IT'S REALLY VERY SIMPLE. HE OPENS HIS MOUTH AND ASKS FOR IT.
@Rocky I'm really mad at you. I did not need to receive this bad health news today!
 

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