The American Medical Association debated whether the country should be re-opened. Here are the results by medical specialty:
The Allergists were in favor of scratching it,
but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it,
but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception,
while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!"
Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!”
Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness,
while the Radiologists could see right through it.
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing
and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.
The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would
"put a whole new face on the matter.”
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward,
but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.
Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas,
and those lofty Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the buttholes in Washington.
