jswordy
Senior Member
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2012
- Messages
- 10,039
- Reaction score
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SMART AZZ ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during an airline flight.
'Would you like dinner?', the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.
SMART AZZ ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'
SMART AZZ ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ' Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
'No ma'am, they're dead...'
SMART AZZ ANSWER #3
The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said.
"Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
.
SMART AZZ ANSWER #2
A truck driver noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'
SMART AZZ ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2014!!
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A student asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'
The teacher smiled knowingly and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
A BONUS EXTRA
A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly... I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your hindsight's damn near perfect.
It was mealtime during an airline flight.
'Would you like dinner?', the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.
SMART AZZ ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'
SMART AZZ ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ' Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
'No ma'am, they're dead...'
SMART AZZ ANSWER #3
The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said.
"Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
.
SMART AZZ ANSWER #2
A truck driver noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'
SMART AZZ ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2014!!
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A student asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'
The teacher smiled knowingly and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
A BONUS EXTRA
A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly... I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your hindsight's damn near perfect.
