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Winemaking Talk - Winemaking Forum

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  1. Sirs

    old woman

    old woman goes to her doctor. she says Dr. I've got this problem I've got a hole in between my boobs he said well lets take a look. She disrobes and points to the hole he says I'm sorry to tell you but thats your navel.
  2. Sirs

    how to have a good date??

    I copied this from a friends page.... Like everything in life, farts have a time and place. However, I never realized that in the wrong time and place, flatulence had enough power to alter my course in history. Well, it can if it's the third date with the man of your dreams. And, if it makes...
  3. Sirs

    not gonna laugh

    "Of course I won't laugh," said the nurse. "I'm a professional. In over 20 years I've never laughed at a patient." "Okay then,"said Bob, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the smallest male part the nurse had ever seen. In length and width was almost identical to a AAA battery...
  4. Sirs

    couple sex

    An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him, "Grampa, what is couple sex?" The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she's old enough to ask the question, then she's old enough to get a straight answer...
  5. Sirs

    warning: don't mess with older women

    A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one...
  6. Sirs

    economic growth???

    It is August in a small town on the South Coast of France, holiday season is in full swing, but it is raining so there is not too much business happening. Everyone is heavily in debt. Luckily, a rich Russian tourist arrives in the foyer of the small local hotel. He asks for a room and...
  7. Sirs

    widdle wabbits????

    I hope this is ok it might even make you laugh if it isn't ok please delete A precious little girl walks into a petsmart shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets...
  8. Sirs

    Mammogram

    Mammogram - this is priceless!! While conducting some business at the Court House, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say, "Your Honor, I'm guilty but.....there were extenuating circumstances." The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly...
  9. Sirs

    Happy Birthday amytmock

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hope you have a good day and year
  10. Sirs

    rabbit trouble

    One day a man was driving down the road in a hot red convertable. He was driving 15 mph when a rabbit that hopped in front of his car. As the man swerved the rabbit swerved also and was run over. The man got out of the car and started crying "OH-MY-GOD... OH-MY-GOD!!!!" Just then a blonde...
  11. Sirs

    Arthritis

    If this is not alright please take down it won't tick me off I just thought it was funny A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick, and he had a half empty bottle of wine...
  12. Sirs

    medical question

    Does anyone on here that drinks wine take prozac??? I mean i'm curious as they just started me on this stuff. I know I can drink beer ok with it just not positive about wine although...... I've been drinking some of my apple wine and doesn't appear to be any different than the beer (beer doesn't...
  13. Sirs

    WineXpert old kit

    I got a kit thats been kept in a fairly cool place for a longggggg time it's a 2003 kit could it possibly still be good?? its a creme sherry kit
  14. Sirs

    spraying a copper solution??

    if grapes have been sprayed with a copper solution how long after spray would it be safe to use grapes or would it be safe???
  15. Sirs

    I'm gonna be a great grandpa

    Just found out I'm gonna be a Great grandpa in march first one
  16. Sirs

    what types of chocolate

    What types of chocolate can you use to add to wine I mean is there a certain % of cocao that needs to be there?? What I'm trying to find out is say one thats 50% cocao alright to use??
  17. Sirs

    Freezing wine

    Got a question wifes cherry lime I put a bottle in the freezer she wanted it really cold almost slushy well after being in the freezer all evening it doesn't even have any crystals in it at all at what percentage does it start to freeze. I know all alcohol does freeze but at like -100 C. So...
  18. Sirs

    quandry...

    I got a batch of blackberry going... I want to use the slurry to start something else but not sure what would be a good mixture.... any ideas??? I'm thinking to use some type of store bought juice so I don't have to use store bought yeast....
  19. Sirs

    corn syrup

    I was wondering does anyone ever use corn syrup for sweetness?? It seem like a person could use the light cornsyrup as it shouldn't change color in wine.
  20. Sirs

    playing with lables

    did this just for fun all hand done ........
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