jswordy
Senior Member
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2012
- Messages
- 10,039
- Reaction score
- 35,246
OMG, cannot stop laughing at this one!
Since it was such a crappy day, I sat in my recliner and started thinking about life.
I came to realize that as I have grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore, a friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
Lance Armstrong … I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved: winning 7 Tour de France races while on drugs. Hell, when I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike.
Drive By … Someone broke into my house last week. They didn't take my TV, just the remote. Now they drive by and change the channels. Sick bastards!
The Agony of Aging … On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his ***** with black shoe polish. I said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to turn your clock back."
Video Scam … Just got scammed out of $25.00. I Bought Tiger Woods' DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes." Turns out it's all about golf. Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don't get scammed.
Pregnant Prostitute … Doctor asks a pregnant prostitute, "Do you know who the father is?" She replied, "If you ate a can of beans would you know which one made you fart!"
Since it was such a crappy day, I sat in my recliner and started thinking about life.
I came to realize that as I have grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore, a friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
Lance Armstrong … I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved: winning 7 Tour de France races while on drugs. Hell, when I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike.
Drive By … Someone broke into my house last week. They didn't take my TV, just the remote. Now they drive by and change the channels. Sick bastards!
The Agony of Aging … On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his ***** with black shoe polish. I said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to turn your clock back."
Video Scam … Just got scammed out of $25.00. I Bought Tiger Woods' DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes." Turns out it's all about golf. Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don't get scammed.
Pregnant Prostitute … Doctor asks a pregnant prostitute, "Do you know who the father is?" She replied, "If you ate a can of beans would you know which one made you fart!"
