a couple of funny ones

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A young couple invited their pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were
in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they
were having.
"Goat," the little boy replied.

"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?"

"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mom, 'Might as well have
the old goat for dinner today as any other day."
 
A few months ago there was an opening with the CIA for an assasin.
These highly classified positions are hard to fill and there's a lot of
testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered
for the position. After sending some applicants through the background
checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to
2 men and a woman, but only one position was available.

The day came for the final test to see which person would get the
extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of
the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that
you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances" they
explained. "Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair.
Take this gun and kill her." The man got a shocked look on his face and
said, "You can't be serious! I could never shoot my wife!" "Well", says
the CIA man, "Your definitely not the right man for the job then."

So they bring the second man to the same door and hand him a gun. "We
must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the
circumstances", they explained to the second man. "Inside you will find
your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The second
man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the
room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes, then the door opened. The man
came out of the room with tears in his eyes. "I tried to shoot her, I
just couldn't pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I not the
right man for the job." "No" the CIA man replied, "You don't have what
it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Now they're down to the woman left to test. Again they lead her to the
same door to the same room and handed her the same gun. "We must be
sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances,
this is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a
chair. Take this gun and kill him."

The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed
all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start firing. One shot after
another for 13 shots. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the
walls. This went on for several minutes, then all was quiet.

The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat
from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with
blanks! I had to beat him to death with a chair!"
 

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