Wise Chinese Doctor Say:
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste onexercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart notmake you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by drivingfaster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Brandy distilled wine, that meanthey take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness thatway. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. Ifyou have two body, your ratio two to one.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exerciseprogram?
A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy: Nopain...good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. Howgetting more vegetable be bad?
Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around themiddle?
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. Youshould only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Anothervegetable! It best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arrivingsafely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways- Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up,totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"
I do what the voices in my wife's head tell her to tell me to do.